ugh. i feel sick. today has been such a crappy day. mary's being so evil. she just needs to chill. and andrew. ugh. i want to smack him. im so sick of him telling me that he hates me every five seconds. i get it. you dont like me. youve already made me feel bad enough. he just doesnt get it. he may hate me but im always gonna be there for him. no matter what. i do love him. =] beccas just being crabby. i dont know why and i dont care. as long as she just leaves me alone but she hasnt. whatever. we keep getting in stupid fights about nothing. i just want to go in my room and hide. but i wont. i know i wont.

so tonight im supposed to sleep over beths house. i dont think im going to. i just dont feel up to it. i feel bad just cancelling. hopefully shell understand.

this weekend lauren is coming to her dads. im so excited. i want her to go the first football game. that way ill have someone to hang out with. danas dancing, lisa will abandon me for dana and her other friends. becca will hang out with her other friends. shell invite me but some of her friends suck. and i just dont want to see them. if lauren comes then we can hang out and we'll probably go up to the band and see marcia and other people. but when they go on the field ill still have lauren. on saturday i want to go to the mall with lauren and dana. i really hope we'll be able to. whatever. i hope i feel better. =[

go listen to the faint. theyre amazing.

listen to the songs agenda suicide and desperate guys.

Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: the faint

Current Music: my bloody valentine

Current Music: my bloody valentine

Current Music: nirvana

originally from:
8/13/2007

well basically my life is over. i just need to welcome in my new family. i mean mary and paul cant be that bad. maybe its just me and my hope for us all to be back together. now since my mom did coke and tested positive, im gonna give up on my dream. im stuck here forever. with everything going on lately i dontt think i'll be back with my parents before im eighteen. i doubt it'll happen. i want to just forget about my parents. i dont wanna love them anymore. they've done too much.

now change the subject, sunday was amazing. we went to go see my brother on akron. and we got four hours of just hanging out with him. we weren't at the place. we picked him up at 12:10 cause we were a little late. then we drove to caro. ate some lunch at dairy queen and we talked a little there. then we walked to walmart cause it was right next to it. walked around and looked at stuff for about a half an hour. it's so funny how matthew appreciates everything he sees. how he could say whatever he wanted because he wasnt going to get in trouble for saying the word retarded or something. well after walmart we went back to dairy queen and got some ice cream. we just went through the drive through though. we drove to a park that was right by bridges and just hung out there for an hour and a half. we talked and he listened to my ipod. he really misses music. its kinda funny. he would find a song and say "wow i love this song" then listen to it for five seconds and then he would find another song and be like "wow i love this song too" and he just kept doing that. and he would sing and dance a little. it was so much fun. we were trying to call information and get heather strickland's number so he could just talk to her for like five minutes, but there is no signal out in the middle of nowhere. i think he was a little sad about that. overall it was one of the best days and i think he really enjoyed it too.

Current Music: nirvana

so this is my new livejournal. the first few entries of mine are going to be taken from my myspace blog. i figured this might be a better place to write stuff than myspace.

Current Music: nirvana